Cascading Agony
by Magnificality
Summary: I felt all my emotion, once a composed sphere within my soul: break. I ran without legs, into the middle of the forest, and dropped in a crumpled ball of pain. I felt my dry sobs and cries rake through my body, soon joined by searing pain. Edwards POV. NM
1. Chapter 1 Celebrations

**Cascading Agony – Chapter 1 – Celebrations**

**Edwards POV**

It was an unusually arctic day in the small town of Forks as I drove down the flooded road with my love; She was quivering in her seat, despite the heater that I had turned on for her.

"Are you alright Bella? You still seem very cold" I said concerned. She may be coming down with hypothermia.

" Its ok Edward, I'm fine," she said as her teeth chattered. I sighed; she was clearly still freezing cold. I sped as fast as I could down the road, heading to Bella's house.

"Stubborn little human" I chuckled as we neared my house. As Bella pouted at my statement, I laughed even louder. I love her so much, especially her stubbornness.

It was my loves 17th Birthday, but she had ordered me not to mention it; but that didn't stop Alice from celebrating it. She wanted to have a party at the house. Bella had protested and sulked, but Alice had got her way easily.

The Volvo steadily stopped in front of the house, as I darted to open the door for Bella. I sighed with relief now; she had stopped shivering, but was still distinctly cold. I reached to take her hand, but swiftly pulled back. It was already cold for Bella, and I didn't want to make it worse for her. Bella had noticed my dilemma, and now it was her turn to twitter. I shot my crooked smile at her, the one I knew she couldn't resist. She smiled an Angel's smile back at me as we sauntered up the stairs to enter the house, to celebrate my loves birthday.


	2. Chapter 2 Musings Of A Demon

**Cascading Agony – Chapter 2 – Musings of A Demon**

**Edwards POV**

_She smiled an Angel's smile back at me as we sauntered up the stairs to enter the house, to celebrate my loves birthday. _

We gasped in unison as we took in the sight of the room. Alice had definitely gone overboard. There were crystal bowls filled with pink roses on every flat surface. Next to my piano was a white tablecloth draped onto a table holding a pink birthday cake with plates and several gifts that Bella objected to. All my family's thoughts cascaded through my head.

" Happy Birthday, Bella!" everyone chorused loudly. Everyone except Bella was glowing with excitement of celebrating a birthday. I felt Bella slightly stiffen beside me. Sensing her distress, I wound my arm around her and kissed her gently on the forehead. Esme walked towards Bella and embraced her gently, still slightly cautious about Bella's reaction. As she stepped back, Carlisle placed his arm around Bella's shoulder and whispered

" Sorry about this Bella, but we couldn't rein Alice in" Bella smiled, most likely thinking about Carlisle trying to stop an energetic Alice. And then Emmett couldn't contain his composure and felt the need to lighten the atmosphere, as he always does.

"You haven't changed at all," Emmett said with mock disappointment. "I expected a perceptible difference, but here you are, red-faced just like always."

" Thanks, Emmett" Bella said as she blushed. How I love it when she blushes.

" Time to open the presents!" squealed Alice, jumping up and down as she grabbed Bella's elbow and led her towards the table. Bella sighed.

"Alice, I know I told you I didn't want anything–" Bella spoke as she blushed a lovely shade of crimson.

"But I didn't listen," she interrupted, her face smug. "Open it." She took the camera from Bella's hands

And replaced it with a big, square silver box.

She opened the box, and read the tag.

**Happy Birthday Bella!**

**Love From Emmett, Jasper and Rosalie**

"Err…Thanks!" Bella's face was priceless, her facial expression was puzzled, and she was gazing upon the small box as if she was trying to do a difficult math problem in her head. I couldn't help but laugh out loud at her expression.

Rosalie actually cracked a smile. Jasper laughed. "It's a stereo for your truck," he explained.

"Emmett's installing it right now so that you can't return it." Emmett's outside installing the stereo, so you cant return it!" said Alice grinning ear to ear.

"Thanks Jasper, Rosalie," Bella exclaimed as she poked her head out the door. "Thanks Emmett!"

Everyone was smiling, Esme adoring, Carlisle pleased, Alice hyper, Emmett just plain happy, and even Rosalie was still smiling for Bella. Everyone's thoughts complimented their smiles.

Suddenly, Alice had a vision. It all toke place instantly. Bella was opening her next present, and had sliced her finger. Drops of blood oozed down her hand. Then I was hit with bewilderment, _Jasper was thirsty_. Jasper's thoughts revolved around those drops of blood, and he couldn't control himself.

Alice screamed as she saw Jasper lunge towards my Bella.

"NO!" I shouted as I restrained Jasper. I heard glass break and the potent scent of Bella's blood sear my nose. She had fallen and cut her arm, trying to cushion her fall. Jaspers eyes were locked, wild and thirsty, on Bella.

I was restrained Jasper as he snapped his teeth at me. Carlisle, the only one calm due to his experience in the emergency room, spoke in a quiet, authoritative voice

"Emmett, Rose, get Jasper outside."

Not smiling for once, Emmett nodded. "Come on Jasper." Jasper struggling under Emmett's unbreakable grasp, twisted and bared his teeth, eyes still wild and past reason.

I felt my face go whiter than usual as I crouched in front of Bella in a defensive fashion. I let out a low growl, and didn't dare breathe unless I wanted to follow Jaspers footsteps. I shuddered at the thought.

Rosalie, her face strangely smug, stepped in front of Jasper–keeping a careful distance from his teeth–and helped Emmett wrestle him through the glass door that Esme held open, one hand pressed over her mouth and nose.

Esme's heart-shaped face, and thoughts, was ashamed. "I'm so sorry, Bella," she wailed as she followed the others into the yard.

Only now I dared to look at Bella, and discover the extent of the damage. She was covered in blood where the glass had pierced her translucent skin, especially her left arm. The expression on her face was a one crossed with shock, pain and horror.

_Horror_

The worst thing about this situation that was I knew I caused it. My Bella trusts me with her life, and I had almost let her down. What have I done in my existence to even deserve her? I had let her down. I had almost been the cause of her death. I am constantly putting her on the edge of danger, taking her from her human world. It wasn't good for her to be with such a demon. I have to leave her, to save her from an eternity of soulless life. It doesn't matter that I love her, I don't deserve he. Bella's life comes first. I _need_ to leave her. For _her_

I heard Carlisle trying to attend to Bella, but I was etched in this position.

Leaving Bella, I couldn't imagine the world without her, there would be no reason for existence anymore. I nodded slowly, pained by the inconceivable notion of leaving Bella, and slowly relaxed my stance.

I knew I needed to leave Bella.

To _save_ her.

It was too hard to fathom.


	3. Chapter 3 Aura Sphere

**Cascading Agony – Chapter 3 – Aura Sphere**

_I knew I needed to leave Bella._

_To __save__ her._

_It was too hard to fathom._

I watched in thoughtful silence as Carlisle kneeled beside, my once perfect, unharmed Bella, examining Bella's arm. For a moment, I felt a pang of jealousy; for Carlisle was doing something that I will never be able to do.

_Hmm, the wound isn't seriously damaged, just some lodged glass I will remove. _Carlisle mused.

"Here, Carlisle" Alice spoke, handing Carlisle a towel, to use as a tourniquet. At least someone was thinking logically for once. Carlisle shook is head, still examining Bella's bloody arm.

" Too much glass in the wound" Carlisle answered, calm.

Too much glass in the wound? But Carlisle had said in his thoughts the wound wasn't serious! I agonized as I debated this in my head. Carlisle, detecting my stress spoke in his thoughts:

_Don't fret Edward. I don't think you need more stress right now. I can remove the glass_

I quietly sighed with little relief. My thoughts were still pierced with pain. If I experienced this much pain by the thought, I wondered how it would feel with Bella, truly gone.

I felt a thousand needles pierce my heart, though hollow, drilled right through me agonizingly slow. I felt the need to gasp in agony, but held back. Bella doesn't need to worry about me in her current state.

"Bella," Carlisle hummed, trying to calm her. " Do you want me to drive you to the hospital, or would you like me to take care of it here?"

"Here, please" Bella said, hardly above a whisper. Normally, at this statement would laugh, since I knew she avoided the hospital because it meant needles. But Bella was right, since if she went to the hospital, she wouldn't be able to keep this from Charlie. Alice interrupted.

"Il get your bag."

Carlisle turned his head to me.

"Let's take her to the kitchen table"

I turned towards Bella, still not inhaling, and lifted her easily. I dared not to look at the damage, in fear I might experience of that mysterious agony that I had experienced not long ago.

Carlisle, concerned for Bella asked, " How are you doing?"

Bella replied, " I'm fine."

To human ears, her voice would have been reasonably steady, but my sensitive ears picked up an underlying tone of pain break through her voice. I couldn't but help think,

_I_ had done this to her, _I_, who she had trusted

I felt once again, the cutting agony that coursed through my whole body this time, like a surging current, that almost caused me to drop my porcelain doll. I carefully composed my face from any emotion, fearing Bella would perceive my pain. I led Bella into the kitchen, Carlisle's bag on the table and a medical lamp plugged in. I gently laid Bella onto a chair, for she was looking more fragile then ever. I stood over her, still fearing for the worst to happen once again. Bella sighed.

"Just go Edward"

I knew that she didn't mean it in that way, but I still felt the suffering undergo my body, my emotions fragile.

"I can handle it" I insisted, but Bella didn't look convinced. Then I saw why, I saw my reflection shimmer in Bella's melting, chocolate eyes. My jaw was rigid; and my eyes flared with thirst. I wonder what I looked like to her in that moment, a monster? The chances ten to one. Bella argued.

" You don't need to be a hero," Bella spoke, the shock still underlying her voice. "Carlisle can fix me up without your help. Get some fresh air." I still wouldn't budge. I needed to be with Bella more than ever now, anxious that I would fall to pieces.

Bella winced when Carlisle plucked a small fragment of glass out of her arm. I felt my thirst dance with thirst, but I wouldn't dare leave Bella now.

"Il stay" I declared.

"Why are you so masochistic?" I heard Bella mumble in irritation.

She wanted me gone.

Then Carlisle decided to intercede. "Edward, you may as well go find Jasper before he gets too far. I'm sure he feels upset with himself, and I doubt he's upset with himself, and I doubt he'll listen to anyone but you right now."

"Yes" Bella eagerly agreed. " Go find Jasper"

"You might as well do something useful," Alice added

I felt my eyes narrow as they ganged up on me, but I knew I couldn't win.

Then Alice saw a vision of me, crumpled in a ball of pain. This was all it took for me to sprint out the door. As I ran out the door, I retained my composure until I was in front of the forest. Then I felt Jasper leaking out unbearably painful emotion, since he was yelping and sobbing, in frustration with himself, I knew it was selfish of me not to help him, but it would make him worse, seeing me like this. Alice will attend to him

I felt all my emotion, once a composed sphere within my soul: break. I ran without legs, into the middle of the forest, and dropped in a crumpled ball of pain.

I felt my dry sobs and cries rake through my body, soon joined by searing pain, that spread like wildfire, licking up my heart and soul, and crushing them, if I had any.


End file.
